February Funk

Winter Lingers

February is my least favorite month. It's gray and dreary. The weather is bi-polar (or maybe tri or quad...not sure). I begin to tire of wearing sweaters, socks and boots. The sun teases with hints of warmth and gold that indicates spring while the wind reminds us of the truth that is late winter. I crave the beach and flowers and my sandals. 

Until the spring really arrives, I tend to slide into a bit of a funk. This February I've manage to stave off the funk till this week. I'm proud of myself because usually this funk takes hold the first week of February instead of the week before sliding into March, which is often the first step toward warmth and light and flowers. In the meanwhile, I have to distract myself. 

Distractions

One thing I do when I find myself in a funk is wrap myself in music. Sometimes I listen to music that I'm familiar with that  will raise me out of my mid-winter night of the soul. This is music I can sing with because when I sing, I have a hard time being sad or dark. Other times, like this month, I discover new music and become addicted. It gets embedded in my brain to the point where I wake up to it in my head and have to play it over and again till I soak all the feeling out of it. My latest discovery (my Facebook friends already know and are probably sick of me posting about this) is Robert Downey Jr.

Yes. THAT Robert Downey Jr. Go ahead. Take a minute and admire. I know I'm doing the same. 

midnightreview.co.uk

 I somehow missed the boat about knowing he could sing. Some of you are laughing at my lack of knowledge in this matter, but I just discovered his album The Futurist. 

Why did no one ever tell me about this?! Seriously? Also, why has he never made a second and third and fourth album?

Oh yeah...Iron Man. Yeah. 

 His voice is a warm, fuzzy R&B blanket that I've wrapped myself in for the past week or so. In case you doubt me, here is a sample:

He's got a sort of vulnerability when he sings that doesn't show as much in his other performances. I know...I sound a bit like a moony fourteen year old, but this album has helped me pull out of my funk for just a bit. It's probably good that I'm not a friend of his because I'd bug him to sing to me all the time. 

I've also distracted myself with the new season of House of Cards. 

Amanda will tell you that I have a thing for Kevin Spacey as well. He's delicious in this show, and he sings in one episode, going to prove that evil can have a lovely singing voice when it wants to have one. I haven't finished the season yet (most of my friends binged the first weekend Netflix posted it) because I'm trying to savor it and take my time with it. This is especially important since my other favorite drama, Downton Abbey has closed its season as of last Sunday night. I'm so fascinated with Frank Underwood, Spacey's character, that I forget that I'm in a funk. 

Spring Is Coming

Soon spring will come, and distractions won't matter as much. My dark spirits will lift as warmth returns to Atlanta. In the meanwhile, there are my distractions, and I will enjoy them. While I know this is not a deep response to my funk, and while I know I could be much more serious in this post, this is where I am.

Only a few more weeks till spring, folks. Hold on. 

Motivation..I Have None Today

Monday after Snowmaggedapocalypse

For the first time in seven days, I'm seated in my office at work. This should be a lovely thing for me. I was trapped at the house for five days with my parents. As many of my friends will tell you (and I will too), I adore my parents. They are awesome people. Five days in the same house, however, is a lot to ask of three adults who are all opinionated and set in their ways. To say I was happy to come to work today is an understatement.

Still, I got here, spent two hours with my students in the library as they were trained to use the library and the library website, and got back to the office in time for lunch. My diabolical plan---(1) to eat a hearty lunch of microwaved Rice-a-Roni and (2) to grade one of three batches of essays I need to have completed before next Sunday.

It is now ten minutes before my last class of the day. Guess which part of my diabolical plan I completed. It had nothing to do with essays and everything to do with how hungry I was. 

Desire-5000+              Motivation-0

Welcome to the Real Lives of Georgia Technical College Instructors!

So far, none of my co-workers are completely focused or motivated. We are all sort of slogging through today as we readjust to the real business of recouping two weeks of lost time.  In another day or two, we should be back to relative normal.

Misdirected Motivation

Before I completely claim no motivation at all, let me point out that I have eaten and done a Zentangle (yes, Rhonda, picture will follow). I did this during my second library instructional class with my 1010 students. 

It was either do this, or be completely unengaged.

The thing that is really cool about Zentangle is that it is a sort of meditative doodling. It takes away stress and strain and replaces it with calm. It makes me feel the way knitting makes me feel (happy and peaceful), and I can do it in a less obvious way than whipping out the needles. 

Anyway, I totally blame my friend, Rhonda, who is an artist and a dear friend. You should check out her artist's page on Facebook. Her work is amazing, and she does commissions. She doesn't know this (ok, now she does), but when I get my own place, I'm planning on ordering some of her paintings [Tree of Life, my dear]. Rhonda started doing Zentangle before Christmas and has incorporated it into her painting with really wonderful results.

So, as you can see, my motivation was more misdirected than nil. I drew a Zentangle. My day is complete!

The only other thing I've really been motivated to focus on is knitting pattern collecting. I go on Facebook during lunch and discover new afghan square patterns---FOR FREE! Free patterns put me on a sort of addictive spiral. I post them, I go check Ravelry, (THE website for knitting and crochet addicts like me), and if I really am wandering around, I'll go hit Pinterest. It's sad. No motivation for things like bad writing and disappointing essays, but give me patterns, and I can go for hours.

[BTW--you'll have to suffer through more of my knitting addiction if I start the afghan I'm sort of imagining in my head bwahahahaha!]

So, Is There a Point to This Post?

Uhhhhhh...not really. I just wanted to share that I am really wandering today. I guess some people would say I have ADD or ADHD or some other abbreviated thing that says that I'm not focused. (And before anyone decides to blast me in the comments below, I'm not making fun of anyone who may have this sort of issue. For some people it's real. I don't have these things. I'm just not focused today. That's all.) Coming off an entire week of being able to do what I want, when I want and stepping back into the structured world of classes and teaching and expectations is hard. If you made me choose between grading papers and watching House of Cards while knitting slippers for clients, guess which I'd go with?

I promise that I will put myself back together quickly and have a long grading session involving Thomas Dolby (my current favorite grading partner) and multiple cups of cinnamon tea (another current favorite). The papers will get done. I will move forward. I might even get that basic plan for the new chapters in the novel done (I hope).

Support is awesome, btw. Make sure to leave some kind comments and let me know if you recognize this lack of motivation. 

Snowmageddapocalypse 2014: Part Deux or What Does the Ice Say?

Looking Out of My Window at Casa Nettles

I'm sitting in my pajamas today and looking out of my window at the yard and road as it's coated in ice. Yes, I live in the Metro-Atlanta area. Yes, this is for real. If you are reading this from some far way, Northern place, go ahead and laugh. Atlanta, and most of Georgia, has shut her doors in response to the sheet of ice that has covered our roads, trees, cars, and wires. We are lucky here at the house---we have electricity, food, and plenty of quilts. We are ok. At this point, I'm just praying for spring.

Wait, Where Have You Been Since May, 2013?

Oh...yeah...I sort of dropped the ball for a long, long time, which means my millions of readers have most likely dropped to ten readers (if you are one of my ten readers, thanks for waiting and waiting and waiting). Let's see...I went to St. Louis in July and that was massively cool. I went to the top of the Gateway Arch (if you've not done that, it's a must do. I'm so glad I did that). I housesat from August to December, which was a really interesting learning experience. I also learned that I hadn't lost my photographic chops. That was a thrill. My aunt passed in November after a long battle with cancer. I also lost a good friend to cancer in December (stupid cancer). The entire family went to Dallas. Texas to visit my brother and niece for Christmas, and also visited my grandmother as she celebrated her 99th birthday. Lots of crazy good things.

Ok, Back to Today

What's been interesting about this ice storm here in Atlanta is that there has been a lot of backlash from the first storm, which came about two weeks ago. For those of you who don't watch the news or weren't in the area two weeks ago, Atlanta was totally gridlocked because everyone was released from work too late to beat the coming ice. I know friends who were in their cars for over 24 hours. Gina was on the road for 7 hours and finally had to abandon her car to find shelter with friends.

This storm worked differently, in part, because people took the time to think about what to do before the storm arrived. Many of us have been off work since Tuesday despite the fact that yesterday was mostly rainy and lacked the temperatures to freeze things before nightfall. Some people thought this caution was stupid. I was thankful. I would much rather err on the side of caution than find myself or my loved ones trapped in an icy hell on the highway. Now, it seems that we may have the rest of the week off. Is this going to be hard on me and my students? Yes. Do I care. No. I'm safe and so are my students. That's more important at this point. We will find a way to catch up. No worries.

I like that I'm able to sit in my pajamas, knit, watch skating, grade a little, and be warm and safe. The ice says, "Slow down. Breathe. Don't fight this."

I'm good with that mentality.